Get a LIFE!
by Razamataz13
Summary: After BJ ruins a very important Dinner Party, Lydia tells him to get a life. As usual, things get a little too literal. R&R My first cartoon based story so be nice
1. In the Car

_**I haven't seen all the BJ episodes, so if I am stealing a plot line already created or if a Fanfiction Author already wrote a story like this, let me know A.S.A.P! I hate stealing ideas unintentionally. This is my first story revolved around the cartoon series and it will be fairly different from my previous stories. Oh right…I do not own Beetlejuice or anyone from the series. They may be said to be Warner Bros but I say their TIM BURTONS SO UP YOURS W.B AND NOT RELEASING THE EPS ON DVD! Sorry lol, all ideas are mine (that I know of) among with their personalities be a bit tweaked (I'm gonna try not to though) On with the story! **_

_**Note: Lydia is still a teenager in this and is the same age she was in the series. I can promise no hard core romance between her and BJ (I've read too many sex scenes to last a life time)**_

Lydia slunk into her car seat with a sigh. "Mother, Father, do I have to go to this? I mean I don't even know half these people!"

Delia Deetz turned around to her daughter with her broad grin. "Now, Lydia. This dinner is very important for your father and I. I've been trying to get into this prestigious art club all my life! And your father's boss just happens to be the Vice President's husband, so if I get in, he could get a promotion!" she giggled fixing her frightening new hairdo. If you asked her, it was an artistic masterpiece. If you asked Lydia, it looked like Percy had crawled in and was too intoxicated by hairspray to escape.

"Don't worry, pumpkin." Charles added with a nervous smile, "I am sure everything is going to be alright."

"_Oh, Charles!_ Stop fidgeting! It's _just_ dinner! Besides, that attitude won't make you _Chairman of the Board_." Delia sung with a laugh and Charles smiled with sudden confidence.

"You know, Delia…I think you're right! What could possibly go wrong?"

Lydia looked out her window with boredom. Charles caught her weariness in his rear-view mirror and smiled wider. "I know this dinner isn't your cup of tea, dear. But if you behave like the good tempered daughter you are, I might just get you that new camera…"

Lydia bolted up with sudden excitement. "The Photomaster 400 with extended memory and flash card! You said it was too expensive!"

"Lydia, Chairmans' of the Board can get whatever they want!" Delia laughed, "Imagine! I could finally get that imported French oil paint…Ooooo or a 10 foot canvas!"

"Now, Delia…lets not get too carried away." Charles added meekly, "Though…I've always wanted a sports car…" he imagined out loud, "That would show that stiff Jameson from Finance who's in upper management…"

As Lydia's parents fantasized about the endless possibilities of Charles's potential raise, a pair of lemon yellow eyes and green crocked teeth appeared on Lydia's spider broach. "Dinner party with the boss, huh? _Sounds like they could use a little entertainment!_" the broach laughed and Lydia gasped at the sudden arrival of her best friend.

"_Beetlejuice! What are you doing here?!_" she hissed, "_You know this is no time to pull pranks on my family!_"

"Aw, come on Lyds! Those moneybag snobs could use a little Juice'n!" he groaned, "Come on!"

"_This is very important to them and me! I can't have you ruin Daddy's possible promotion or Mother's chance into getting in the Peaceful Pines Creative Minds with Money Society!" _she glared and Beetlejuice's face wore an expression of offense.

"Jeez, Lyds…I didn't know you couldn't even trust your best friend…" he began to sob and one of the spider legs pulled out a handkerchief and he blew his nose loudly.

Delia looked at Charles suddenly after hearing that noise and wore an expression of disgust. "Honestly, Charles. You could at least warned me you had gas!" Charles looked at Delia with confusion.

"What are you…"

"So know you _deny it_. You'd think you've never heard of common courtesy…"

Lydia held in a laugh and looked down at Beetlejuice. "Sorry, BJ. I just can't afford for anything to happen today…could you promise me not to do anything to the dinner party guests?"

Beetlejuice sighed and nodded, "Alright, alright, no pranks. No gags. No Geela monsters down the Vice Presidents pants." he bargained and popped out of her broach. Lydia smiled and returned to look out her window.

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Beetlejuice watched the Deetz's car drive away toward a Victorian Manor. His inner Prankenstein began to mumble pranks but Beetlejuice ignored him. "I promised, Lyds. No pranks. No gags. No Geela monsters…but," his Will Power wasn't enough to stop him this time as he began to chuckle sinisterly, "She didn't say anything about overshadowing the dinner guests…"


	2. Pillow Fight

The Deetz's sat down at an unseemly long dinner table. If the centerpieces weren't distracting enough, the food was well…

"Looks like something Beetlejuice would eat." Lydia laughed under her breath as she warily poked at her so called _dinner_. She felt bad not letting him come but she knew better than unleash her best friend on some people who could get her parents out of a job.

"Delia, darling!" a tall woman with an even worse hair style greeted flakily, "Such a pleasure to final meet you! I am simply the biggest fan of you art!"

"Among the only…" Charles mumbled and Delia slugged him in the ribs with a fake laugh.

"Charles, this is Mrs. Demblemire, she's Vice President of the Peaceful Pines Creative Minds with Money Society." she introduced and Mrs. Demblemire shook Charles hand with a smile.

"I can see you are a man of _exquisite _tastes. Barty, come over here and away from the snacks! Those are for the guests, darling!" she scolded and Barty walked over with a growl.

"Yes, Carol." he replied curtly.

"Oh, Barty this is the lady I was talking about! Delia Deetz and her husband Charles!" Carol Demblemire began merrily.

"Charles? Don't you work in management?" Barty Demblemire questioned examining Charles, who suddenly broke in a nervous sweat.

"Erm, no…I mean yes! I..I.." he stuttered and Delia laughed highly to cover her blundering husband.

"Why yes he does, Mr. Demblemire. In fact he has been in his position for a long time. Perhaps, while having dinner _you two can discuss business_." Delia hinted and Carol nodded approvingly.

"Finally, Delia! I have someone to chat about sculpting and not those blasted investment charts!"

Barty and Charles exchanged glances. "Well, Charles. Seems you have gotten my wife off my back for a while…maybe we could discuss matters of promotions and down-sizing?"

"Why yes, Mr. Demblemire! Of course!"

"Relax Charles, this is dinner not an interview! Why when I was a lad…"

As the husbands and wives talked amoungst themselves, Lydia rested her head in her hand. There was no possible way that this dinner was going to liven up. The only person who would be caught dead here would be…

"So then I told my boss, 'I need a promotion sir or I'm taking my business somewhere else!' Back in that day you didn't tell your employer off but I had the upper hand! You see Charles, you need to seize the opportune moments in life! In fact…" Barty Demblemire stopped dead in his tracks and looked around the room slowly. Most people were pretending to eat their dinner or talking amongst each other snootily.

"Um, yes Mr. Demblemire?" Charles intruded unsurely, "Is there something wrong?"

Lydia looked up and dropped her fork with terror. There was a familiar look in Mr. Demblemire's eyes…like the one her Uncle Clyde had at their dinner when Cousin BJ was over…

"Barty? Aren't you going to answer Charles?" Carol asked impatiently, "You are being quite rude."

"Rude?" Barty laughed with a sudden raspy voice, "Did you look in the mirror this morning? Your hair looks even worse than Delia's and that's saying something!"

A couple people chuckled behind their hands but the Deetz's and Carol wore an expression of astonishment. "No, Beetlejuice." Lydia groaned.

"But seriously folks!" Barty laughed standing up, "I shouldn't be talking, my taste in beauty is all what it is cut up to be…I mean I married her!" he pointed to Carol and people began to laugh a bit louder.

Suddenly, Barty's eyes crossed and a flash of yellow light hit Carol's body. "You're one to talk, Baldy! That's not a four head, that's a five head!" she cackled with a Beetlejuicish tone and Barty looked at Carol with shock.

"Carol what has gotten into you?!"

"The question what _hasn't _gotten into you?" Carol rebounded, "You're belly's so big you need to use a boomerang to but on your belt!"

The room was in hysterics now. Lydia sunk into her chair, unbelievingly. She knew Beetlejuice well enough to predict that this comedy act was far from over…

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"Delia…I think there is something in the food here…" Charles whispered pushing away his plate, "These people are acting berserk!"

"Charles, there must be a logical explanation for all of…" Delia stopped in her tracks as a beam of yellow light hit her chest. "In fact!" she announced standing on the table, "I bet all you yuppie yahoos could take a lesson from me _Delia Deetz_ about having a _real _dinner party!" she cackled and the food on the dinner plates began to transform. "Why a dinner isn't a dinner with out slugetti and fly balls!"

People roared with disgust as Delia's suggestions appeared on their plates. "No? How about a more refined main course…Chicken al a KING!" a bunch of chickens wearing crowns popped onto the dinner guest's plates and began to run around the table destroying everything in their path. Delia began to laugh manically and Lydia rushed off her chair and chanted:

"Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! BEETLEJUICE!" Delia's eyes crossed and there was a crackle of thunder blinding everyone in the room momentarily.

All of Beetlejuice's gags had disappeared along with him. Carol got up stiffly from under the table and glared at Delia. "Mrs. Deetz! Let my butler escort you and your family out of my house before my husband demotes your husband to coffee boy!"

"But Carol! I don't know what happened…"

"OUT!" Barty roared and the Deetz's ran out of the room the butler pressuring and pushing them out of the door.

Delia and Charles hung their heads and Lydia glared into the evening sky with fury. She was sure she saw Beetlejuice's face overshadow the moon for a second, his face was filled with guilt. She didn't feel bad for banishing him back to the Neitherworld, if truth be told it was for the best. It gave her some time to prepare her for facing the Ghost with the Most…he had lied to her before but this time it was above all the horrible stunts he ever pulled on her family…

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Lydia ran into her room and crashed in her bed crying angrily. Beetlejuice's face rose cowardly from her vanity mirror and he didn't have to grab Lydia's attention because she was already half way across the room her arms filled with pillows.

'Did you relize what you could have done!?" she yelled throwing a pillow at the mirror. Beetlejuice put his arms over his face to protect him from the feathery ammunition. "If Mr. Demblemire fired my father we would have to move and!" she threw another pillow at the mirror, "Then I'd have to go back to New York! Where my Dad could be employed at the Burger Palace as a cashier! How does that sound!" she threw the last pillow and Beetlejuice peeked through his arms uncomfortably. To be quite honest, Lydia was scary when this mad.

"Babes…I'm sorry." he apologized quietly, "I truly am…"

"Save it! You don't mean any word you say! All you can ever think of is making my parent's lives miserable!"

"That's not true!" Beetlejuice defended, "I have better things to do then prank your parents."

"Yeah, like think of more ways to break my trust! All you can ever think of is PRANKING! I'VE HAD IT! WOULD YOU JUST GET A LIFE!" Lydia screamed not caring if anyone heard her. Beetlejuice looked at her sadly and floated away from the mirror. Lydia returned to her bed and buried her head in her hands.

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Jacques Lalean put down his fitness magazine as his roommate floated by emptily, "Bea-tle Joose? Iz zere somesing wrong with Lydia? She zounded furiorze."

"Just leave me alone." Beetlejuice grumbled and drifted into his room, closing the door behind him.

Ginger the tap dancing spider descended from the ceiling with surprise. "No insults? No walking through walls? What has gotten into him?"

"I do not know, but I 'av a feeling we soon find out." Jacques answered scratching his skull.

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"Maybe, Lydia is right…I should just get a life." Beetlejuice mumbled and crawled into his coffin bed morosely. "I mean Lydia is my best friend, and I blew it…I'm such a drip!" a pail of water gushed onto his head but Beetlejuice didn't care. What if Lydia never summoned him again?

Beetlejuice hated feeling other emotions beside happiness or anger; it made him feel like a sap. And when ever that happened, it always had Lydia involved… "Wait, what am I saying? Lydia is the only thing I feel for?" he told himself with disbelief and a horrible feeling hit his chest…it wasn't guilt or any other emotion. It was a pain, which was beginning to grow. Then Beetlejuice's skin began to boil.

"What…What is…" Beetlejuice croaked and fell off his bed. He tried to float to his bathroom but his Juice was starting to drip from his fingertips. He began to gasp for air; a thing he hadn't done in 675 years.

Jacques and Ginger rushed in his room and both screamed. "ALOR! GINGER! 'ET A DOCTOR! SOMESING IS HAPPENING TO BEA-TLE JOOSE! HE IZ 'URNING PINK!" Jacques exclaimed and rushed over to the suffering Beetlejuice, and if he wasn't a skeleton, the blood would have rushed out of his face. "Don't 'orry mon ami! Help will arrive zoon enough!"

Beetlejuice looked up weakly and feel back to the floor. The room began to spin, the wallpaper swirling together along with Jacques skeleton grin. "Air…" was all he could say before he slipped into unconsciousness.


	3. Eau de Vitae

**_If some of you have already read some of my fanfics about Beetlejuice's life before death; that was toward the movie version and not the cartoon. I am keeping his name Brain Jackson, but his past life will remain unknown. Thanks for reviewing my story so quickly and you'll know me well enough to keep you updated but I also hit a brick wall every once and a while and baby when I hit it, it hit it hard XD prime example would be my story Walking with a Deadman and I'm sorry all you guys I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO! So be patient and on to the story _**

As Lydia picked away at her breakfast, the telephone rang. Charles got up slowly with a nervous stare, praying it wasn't Barty Demblemire. "He..Hello?" he stammered and then sighed with relief. "Lydia, it's for you."

Lydia got up perplexed. No one called her this early in the morning. "Hello?"

"_This is the Neitherworld Operator; I have an emergency call from a Jacques Lalean. Will you be willing to except the charge?_" a nasally female voice said.

"Um no thanks!" Lydia saved, knowing how literal the Neitherworld was, "I'll pay for the call, Ma'm."

"_Very well._" the voice acknowledged and there was a click as Jacques was patched through.

"Lydia! Thank goodness! You must 'ome to ze Roadhouse at once! Somesing haz happened to Bea-tle Joose! Somesing…remarklament!" Jacques said hurriedly, "I know you 're furierze at em but you will never believe it!"

"Jacques, I am sorry. But if Beetlejuice coned you into doing this, tell him to buzz off!" Lydia hung up and folded her arms. Nothing remarkable ever happened to Beetlejuice and nothing serious that the police wouldn't be involved in. He was dead, how worse off could he get?

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Jacques hung up the phone and shook his head to Ginger. "She thinks it iz one of Bea-tle Joose's tricks. I wouldn't blame 'er."

"Then how are we going to explain what happened to Beetlejuice? Is he just going to walk up to her door and tell her?"

"Meh oui. It might jus have to 'ome to that." Jacques sighed looking behind him as a groan filled the room.

"Ug, what happened…I feel all warm and there is this beating in my…HOLY BEETLE-BURGERS! I'VE GOT A PULSE!" Beetlejuice screamed scrambling off the couch and toward a mirror. "My...MY TONGUE IS PINK!"

"Bea-tle Joose! Calm down!" Jacques interrupted running to the hyperventilating Beetlejuice. "You 're overreacting!"

"Over…over reacting!? I'm Juiceless! I am clean! And! And! I don't even smell that bad!" Beetlejuice gasped, "No! This is a dream! Yeah! _A really bad dream_! I'll just run onto the road, let my self get flattened and wake up! It worked when I was a kid…" Jacques stopped Beetlejuice with a glare.

"Thiz iz not a dream! You 're living and you need to take better care of yourzelf! Or this miracle will be wasted!"

Beetlejuice clutched his head with terror. "I'm alive?! But how!" his eyes widened, "I don't believe it…WHY MUST I TAKE THINGS SO LITERALLY!" he cried and Jacques backhanded him across the face, "Thanks, I needed that." Beetlejuice grumbled rubbing his cheek.

"Perhaps, thiz iz 'or thee best. I mean, now you can be with Lydia and no questions asked."

"Hey! Who says I'd want to be living with Lydia?!" Beetlejuice growled menacingly.

Jacques grinned knowingly, "You act like it iz a secret. _We all know_ 'ow you feel toward the girl."

"I have no idea what you are implying, Bonehead." Beetlejuice retorted folding his arms stubbornly.

"You like Lydia az much az you like bea-tles. Ever since you met her I 'ad a feeling in my bonez."

"That's hogwash!" Beetlejuice snapped and a feeling of disappointment came as his pun didn't appear. "Listen, I don't love Lydia!"

There was a rumble in the background, "_Liieeesssssssss_." a chorus of ghoulish voices whispered. Jacques and Ginger smiled broadly.

"Sure you don't." Ginger said sarcastically and ascended to the ceiling, "But if you did, I'd be more sympathetic toward her feelings."

"Like listening what she haz to say and stop 'ith your zilly pranks." Jacques added, "All zee women can't rezist the perfect gentilman. I should know." Beetlejuice looked at Jacques gloomily.

"Yeah, but it's not like her parents would approve to the fact of her hanging with a man who could be her great great great great great grandfather! I'd be, kinda you know creepy, not the good kind."

"Meh, oui. But I 'ave the solution to your problem." Jacques reached into his equipment bag and pulled out a jar filled with green water. "Eau de Vitae."

"Oudor what?" Beetlejuice replied looking at the jar curiosly.

"It iz, how you say, life's water. One drop could bring you back to your sophomore year in school. I like to take some when ever my bones get achy, makez me feel 'ike a young skeleton again!"

"So you're saying…I could be transformed back into a pre-teen punk?"

"Exactellement!" Jacques smiled, "But zee results are only temporary…"

"Thanks, Bonebrain…er, Jacques." Beetlejuice smiled and took the jar. Jacques grinned and returned to his magazine.

"I'd 'urry to the Outerworld, it iz almost dark."


	4. Can you call me Brian?

**_Awwwww, I love your reviews (sniff) I FEEL SO LOVED! XD sorry, some of you believe that I lied about the Lydia/BJ pairing. I said no hardcore romance as in BJ doesn't want to go above and beyond with Lydia (wink wink) there will be romance cuz well, its soooo cute :) (Just nothing inappropriate) _**

Lydia sat on her bed petting her cat Percy with puffy eyes. She had never been so angry at Beetlejuice before, because she knew from experience, that his Will Power was very minuscule. But lying to her at the only time in her life when she truly, truly needed to trust him made her start to wonder why she had stuck by him all these years.

"Oh, Lydia!" Delia sung cheerfully for the first time since the dinner, "There is someone at the door to see you!"

"Coming Mother." she returned descending down the stairs quickly. 'Its probably Bertha or Prudence.' she thought to herself and was glad that there would be someone to cheer her up that didn't think depression was what happened after you crawled out from under a boulder.

Delia giggled and stopped her daughter for a moment. "I am so proud of you, honey! You finally are becoming a woman, having a little boyfriend at the age of twelve!" she smiled pinching Lydia's cheek. "Now make sure you are home in an hour, _it'll be our little secret!_"

Lydia looked at Delia unbelieving what she was hearing. "Mother! What are you talking about?"

"Hey, Lyds." a voice said from behind her, "I thought I'd drop by and…" before he could finish Lydia had dropped to the floor, after turning around to see her visitor, and going unconscious.

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"I don't know what has gotten into this girl lately! I am so sorry, what is your name?" Delia asked as Charles lay the passed out on her bed.

"Uh, Brian. Brian Jackson." the boy introduced and Charles rubbed his head suspiciously.

"You look familiar…" he murmured, "Where did you say you met Lydia?"

"Uh, a long time ago, Mr. D." Brian covered, "But if you don't mind could I talk to her, privately?"

"Of course. Brain." Delia said with an over exaggerated tone pushing Charles out of the room.

"Delia! _We don't even know this boy_!" he hissed protectively, "He could be a raging lunatic!"

"You and your silly imagination!" Delia sighed clicking her tongue, "There is something familiar about him, so we must know him from somewhere, besides! _He's cute!_"

Brian waited until the Deetz's were out of an ear shot; he sat down on Lydia's bed and smoothed one of her ebony hairs from her face. A feeling of warmth swept over and something made him reach for her hand and curl one of his around it. He was never this close to Lydia before…he never noticed how wonderful it was to hold her hand and not be afraid that she's cringe at his icy flesh.

Lydia stirred and opened her eyes. Brian let go of her hand quickly and got off the bed. "WHO! WHO ARE YOU?!" Lydia screamed scrambling off the bed and toward her balcony door.

"Lyds…I know this is hard to believe but it's me!" Brian lowered his voice a little, "_Beetlejuice_."

Lydia's pupils dilated and she shook her head. "Im…impossible! How do you know about him?! If you were him, you can't say your name anyway!"

"That's when I was a ghost, Lyds! I'm alive again…no thanks to you." He grumbled, "You have no idea how creepy it is having to actually real food! Apparently, beetles are packed with parasites that can kill a guy…but that would be the way to go…"

Lydia couldn't help but smile and though it was hard to accept, it would have to be Beetlejuice. He'd be the only person to pin his misfortune on someone else. "So…that's really you in there BJ?" she asked warily.

"Yep." Brian sighed finally putting on a smile because Lydia seemed to have cooled…

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO BEAT IT! YOU WORM!" she yelled and threw a book at him. Brian ducked and crouched for cover beside her bed.

"HEY! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE APOLIGIZING TO ME FOR MAKING ME A FLESH BAG AGAIN!" Brian retorted with fury and threw a pillow at her.

"I TOLD YOU TO…get a life." Lydia gasped and slapped her head with disbelief. "Oh, BJ I'm so…HEY!" Brian had thrown a pillow at her head with a devious smirk.

"Better than a book."

She nodded while straightening her hair regretfully. "I did over react a bit…I shouldn't have told you that, I know you can't help it…I just hate it when you lie to me like that!"

Brian hung his head shamefully, "Yeah I was a worm, Lydia. I'm sss…I'm ssssoorr…I'm soorrrryyy." he strained putting on a disgusted face after saying that word. Lydia smiled and embraced him tightly.

"Thanks, Beetlejuice, er, Brian." she was surprised that he had hugged her back with just as tight of a grip. In fact, he wasn't eager to let go either. "Um, BJ?"

Brian didn't hear her right away because he was too enticed by the way her hair smelt like roses. How she had rested her head for a moment on his chest…How…

"BJ? Are you okay?" Brian snapped out of it and pushed Lydia off of him.

"Oh, yeah! Um, back cramp!" he lied putting on a guilty grin. Lydia laughed and folded her arms doubtfully. Was he doing what she thought he was doing?

'No…BJ has never liked me more than a friend…has he?' she thought; that idea was ridiculous! He thought love was for suckers with feelings, but why was he suddenly…acting different? "Um, I have a question…how come you are my age."

"Oh, uh…its one of those resurrection things, my Juice never specified what age I was going to be and uh, that's why!" he lied again, thankfully, she was buying it.

"Oh really?" she added with interest. "That's kind of a good thing though, now we can hang together and not bring up any suspicion! This will be great! Oh, I'm sorry…I forgot how much you hate having no powers and having to change your lifestyle…"

"Afterlife style, babes." Brain corrected, turning his back with a smile. "I don't know, walking on these two feet all day, having a pulse kinda thing might not be so bad after a while. I mean, you do it!" But he hid the affection in his voice when he said, "And we can go out together no worries!"

"You're right! We can go out tomorrow! There is this festival at the park and it's supposed to be incredible! There's an art show, a dance, games,"

"A dance?" Brian asked again.

"Oh don't worry; we don't have to go to that…"

"I don't know, Lyds. A dance would sound sorta fun." Brain's wheels were turning now, 'The dance would be the perfect place to show Lydia how great of a human I can be. I'll have to ask Jacques and Ginger for advice later…' "I say we go, you know, so we don't look like sticks in the mud."

"Sure, Beetlejuice, whatever you say." Lydia ended as she picked up the pillows and books off the floor.

"Er, can you call me Brian now? Just so I blend in a little better."

"Sorry, _Brian_." Lydia laughed raising an eyebrow. 'What is up with him?'


	5. Brian the Suave

"So, how about this one?" Brian asked walking into the room wearing a red suit.

Jacques, Ginger, the Monster Across the Street, and Mrs. Juice shook their heads. "Mon ami, it may give her zee wrong idea. You 're going to a dance not a wedding." Jacques chuckled, "Try somesing more casualle."

"How about this one dear!" Mrs. Juice held up a geeky looking outfit, "It would look so cute on you!"

"_Mom_! That outfit screams _Melvin me_! I have to be cool, know what I mean. Something that says I am a gentleman and a fun loving teenager at the same time." Brian rooted through his closet, upsetting some bats and moths in the process. "Nothing that didn't go out of style in the 1800's." he announced, "And wouldn't get me burned at stake."

"Say, I have a cousin who works in retail! She's really trendy and knows everything about Outerworld fashion. I could hook her up with Beetlejuice…"

"Brian, Ginger." he corrected, "That idea isn't a bad one, as long as she's more talented in her field than you are…"

"And my cousin could teach you how to dance to their music! He's a city boy, says he rather listen to traffic than the banjo. He's a really tommy knocker but I'm sure he'll be able to help ya out." the Monster Across the Street included, "Course, I could teach you some square dancing…"

"No! No! That won't be necessary." Brian interrupted with a nervous laugh.

The Monster Across the Street scratched his head and shrugged. "Well, if you insist."

"Zen, as you say, let's get thiz show on zee road!" Jacques exclaimed excitedly, "I still 'ave to teach eating etiquette to young _Brian_."

"We're just going to be eating hamburgers and hot dogs!"

"As a witness of your eating habits, I feel nothsing but obligated to teach you 'ow to deezvour your food without looking like un cochon!" Brian blinked unknowingly, "A pig." Jacques explained, "Honestly, you should start brushing up on your French!"

"And a bath, dear! I don't want my son to be stinky dinky on his first date for 100 years!" Mrs. Juice smiled pulling out a scrubbing brush from behind her.

"The things I do for women…" Brain growled and followed his mother into the bathroom.

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Lydia waited in her living room glued to her 'Tomb' magazine. There was a knock on her door and she ran there before her mother could peek out of the kitchen. "See you later, mother. I'm to the festival with a friend.

"Is it that nice boy, Brian?" Delia smiled looking out the kitchen window, "Your father is in the back, _make sure he doesn't see you and your boyfriend_."

"He's not my boyfriend, Mother! He is an acquaintance who happens to be of the opposite sex." Lydia defended with a glare.

"That's what I said when I met your father." Delia giggled skeptically, "Have fun!"

Lydia opened the door in hopes to escape any possible idea of Delia returning to take a picture of the two. Her visitor waited impatiently with a small box in his hand.

"BJ?" she gasped closing the door. "Is…Is that…" she wanted to say 'really you' but that would have made her state of shock more visible to him. It was hard not to. His hair was brushed, _clean_, and tied into a ponytail. He wasn't wearing his pinstripe suit and pink shirt, which was a relief, because it was too baggy on him now. Instead he was wearing a black collared dress shirt with a matching set of pants. He kept his boots but they appeared newer. But what really caught her attention was his green eyes; she had never noticed before because his black circles and yellow hue had hidden them.

It was his turn to say, "Lydia, you okay?"

"I…I…I…" she faltered, "I…I…I…"

"Okay…" BJ retorted with a smirk, 'She's already falling for my new look, this will be easy!'

'What happened to you!?" she finally exclaimed, "You're clean! You're clothes are more…"

"Suave." Brian answered with a smooth tone.

"Yes! And! Did you brush your teeth?"

"It's kinda weird actually…be alive and all, I started to feel different about myself. Like I never knew brushing your teeth can make you feel so fresh! I guess the dead me likes being dirty more than the live one." Brian thought out loud, "Anyways, I was at the Shocking Mall and I got you a little something since, well, I did ruin your family's evening and all."

Lydia accepted the gift, hiding the blush that was starting to…wait! She was blushing for BJ? "It's a bat pendant." she took it out of the box and observed the beautiful piece of jewelry with amazement.

"I saw it and thought you might like it." he smiled and once more was embraced by Lydia.

"Oh, its _gorgeous_." she breathed letting go of him unwillingly. She couldn't believe what was happening to her; she was falling for her best friend! And it wasn't like he was pushing her away…was he feeling the same way? 'He's apologized to me, he's bathed, and he's given me a present…he must be trying to show me...that he can be more than a pranking poltergeist…and be more of a…' NO! That couldn't be true! This was Beetlejuice she was talking about! The guy who belched at courtesy; who gagged at cleanliness! He couldn't be trying to…prove to her how he could be…dateable?

"Um, here let me give you a hand putting it on, it looks tricky." he offered humbly, 'God that is too cliché.' he thought with a scoff and was sure Lydia was thinking it too nether less she turned around and let him put it on.

"That was very sweet of you Brian." Lydia whispered turning around, "I really am sorry what happened to you."

Brian wasn't. Actually, he was starting to like being alive. He had never been so close to Lydia before with out fear of her backing away in disgust of his stench. And when he had walked to Lydia's house, people greeted him warmly…until one of them realized he had stolen a piece of fruit from their stand and chased after him with a broom. "Nah, don't be." he replied waving the thought away with his hand, "Come on, lets go to the festival before Chicken Liver Chuckie sees me with you…might get the wrong idea, know what I mean?"

Lydia giggled linked her arm with his comically, "Shall we?"

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When they entered the park's entrance, Prudence and Bertha greeted them; Bertha waving at Brian girlishly. "Lydia, you never introduced me to your friend." Bertha giggled.

Brian held in a laugh and cleared his throat, "I am Brian Edward Jackson, but you can call me BJ." he introduced with his slightly Shakespearian tone and kissed Bertha on the hand. Prudence, short as she was, caught Bertha as she had gone into a boycrazy daze.

"Are you coming to the dance?" Lydia began trying to ignore Bertha's giggles.

"I don't know, I rather be at the Book Tent where it is quiet and I can catch up on my reading." Prudence replied attempting to stand up Bertha.

"Is _he_ going too." Bertha sighed dreamily at Brian who was fighting the urge to catch a bug that was flying around his head.

"Yep." Lydia confirmed noticing the bug too and held Brian's hand tightly so he wouldn't try to snag an early snack. "Aren't we, BJ?"

"Yes." he answered in a trance like state, "You know me I love to party."

Lydia laughed nervously and led Brian away toward the Art Show, "We'll meet you at the dance later, I want to show BJ some art and grab some lunch."

Bertha waved goofily and Prudence shook her head at her with distaste. "You're so shallow you know that."

"I know." Bertha giggled not absorbing anything Prudence had told her.

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"Hey, babes! You never told me you entered the Art Show."

"You never told me you could eat a hamburger in more than one bite." she remarked with a laugh, "I entered one thing, I'm sure you'll like it."

Lydia led Brian to a large sculpture of a monstrous creature. "It's you, doing your famous 'Double Deluxe Lung Tosser with Demon Dandruff. I entered it under the Free Expression category."

Brian walked around his sculpture with admiration, "This is so detailed! You even got a beetle in my coat pocket. Thanks, Lyds. But…weren't you mad at me when you entered this?"

"Yeah," she admitted, "But it was my best work of art yet and well, I knew it couldn't go to waste being locked in my bedroom forever."

The moment was soon broken up with a disgusted moan, "That has to be like the grossest, hideous thing I have ever seen!"

Lydia and Brain turned together and growled, "Clare."

The blonde nightmare entered the room with repulsion, her posse following. "Like I thought last years entry was disgusting but once again you have proven to be the ugliest sculptor in the history…" Clare stopped because she had just noticed Brian standing beside Lydia. "Wow." she giggled, "What is a total hunk doing hanging out with this _freak_! Say, how about we ditch this loser and _get to know each other_." she hinted with a wink.

Brian looked at her with a smile. "Are you Clare Brewster?"

"Like, the one and only." she assured puffing her hair flirtatiously.

"Then I rather eat Bulgarian Slug worms dipped in Maggot Milk than even stand in your presence." he retorted hotly, "Trust me I'll do it."

Clare's jaw dropped and her posse laughed quietly, "Like! _Are you shunning me_? _You rather hang out with **Lydia Deetz** than me!?_" she cried with abhorrence.

"Straight up, sister."

Clare shrieked and turned toward the exit furiously, "You'll be apologizing to me after you see _what a freak that Deetz is!_"

"Go powder your face, Spewster." Brian snickered and put his arm around Lydia, "I must return discussing Ms. Deetz's fine artistic marvel."

Lydia watched her arch-rival leave the tent with a gloating glare. "Thanks, BJ."

"It was my pleasure, babes. Now about that Bulgarian Slug…" Lydia folded her arms and raised an eyebrow, "I'm kidding!" he laughed, "But that would be the way to go too."


	6. Scorpius & Do you trust me?

**_Well, the last chapter was to show the sparking romance between Lydia and BJ (and to give you an idea on how he looks) alas, my stories aren't happy romances with light humor (you know little ole me and my love for making our fav characters lives miserable XD)…so just to be safe I am going to rate my chapters now T for Teen for circumstances I do not want to spoil. If you are confused about something just review me! I think way differently than you guys and I'll fix it! Some people have already done that and well, sometimes I don't think you guys will catch on to some things I have neglected to talk about lmao XD. Anywho, onto the story! Note: You don't have to be a member to review._**

Meanwhile in the Neitherworld, Jacques Lalean enjoyed yet another quiet afternoon exercising without worries of Beetlejuice's sneak attacks. Ginger watched as she polished her dancing shoes humming a little tune. Both of them admitted that the afterlife was more bearable with Beetlejuice being Brian.

"So how do you think the dates going?" Ginger asked.

"Brian haz probably swooned Ms. Lydia into dancing with 'im. You know Bea-tle Joose." he laughed putting down his dumbbells because the doorbell had just rang. "Zi'll get it!"

Unfortunately for the French bodybuilder, it wasn't the mail man. A strangely familiar ghoul leaned against the wall lazily. "Is this the residents of a Mr. Beetlejuice?" he quizzed snapping his fingers and a cloaked creature unraveled a picture of the ghost in question.

"I am zorry, Bea-tle Joose no longer lives 'ere." Jacques answered sternly. It was most likely a ghost wanting to pick a fight with Beetlejuice, and we all know Jacques bones never lie.

"How unfortunate." the ghost grinned evilly and now Jacques could see what was so familiar about him: he had a strong resemblance with Beetlejuice. "Allow me to announce myself; I am Beetlejuice's cousin Scorpius and this is my best man Shade. I was hoping I could talk to him but it seems that you are going to be anything but co-operative on his location…"

Ginger heard an accented scream and scurried to the door, "Jacques! Are you okay!!?!" Jacques turned around slowly; his eyes had turned a slimy green.

"I do not know Ginger…Am I? he cackled insanely some of the green slime dripping from his mouth. Ginger backed away in horror and let out a high pitched screech.

Jacques grabbed her by one of her legs and dangled her in front of Scorpius. "My, don't you look delicious." Scorpius whispered licking his lips with a black Beetlejuiceish tongue, "Tell me spider, where my cousin is or I'll be having _stuffed arachnid_ _for dinner_."

"Okay! Okay! He's alive and in the Outerworld! At a festival with a girl named Lydia Deetz! He's calling himself Brian!" she squealed.

"How did he get there without being summoned?" Scorpius shot menacingly.

"He used that door over there!" Ginger pointed to a chalk door drawn on the wall. Scorpius approached the door with doubt glaring at Ginger.

"You're telling me…he used this graffiti to go to the Outerworld! That is simply ludicrous!"

"Knock three times on it! I've seen him use it! The only reason he uses it because he's not jinxed and powerless!" Ginger covered her mouth with regret, knowing she had said too much.

"What a helpful little insect," Scorpius cooed wagging one of his black tipped under her chin, "Shade, looks like we're taking a road trip…"

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Lydia followed Brian into a wooded part of the park unsurely, "BJ, are you sure you know where you are going?"

"Come on, Lyds! I used to come here all the time as a mortal kid…then again this place was heavily wooded…" Brian added helping Lydia up a pile of logs.

"So…you used to live here? You never told me that." Lydia said with interest.

"It never came up, did it? We're almost there!" Brian rebounded with a smirk, he liked keeping his past secret…some things were best left unsaid.

Lydia continued to follow him through branches and bushes until she smacked into Brian's back, as he had stopped dead in his tracks. Lydia looked in front of him and gasped with awe. "A waterfall? In Peaceful Pines?"

It was a waterfall, not the one you are expecting…but it was big enough to create a mist around the pool below. "We used to dive off it as kids." Brian said distantly, "Until one of us cracked our skull on one of those boulders."

Lydia noticed how Brian's voice had trailed as he looked up to the top of the waterfall, as if someone was watching them. "It wasn't anything too bad was it?" she asked shakily.

"The fall no, it was the infection that killed her." he ended taking Lydia by the hand and leading her up a poorly constructed set of stone stairs that climbed to the top of the waterfall. "Lydia, do you trust me?"

"What?" she retorted realizing that it was a lot higher up here than she expected.

"Do you trust me?" he repeated quietly taking her closer the edge.

"Brian, you're not thinking of…" Lydia breathed nervously trying to back away from the edge but Brian wasn't going to let her by so easily.

"Lydia, its something I have to do…if you trust me things will be fine…I promise."

"You've promised me too many things Beetlejuice, and they never remain unbroken. If your thinking of making me dive off the ledge with you, you must be…" Lydia stopped because Brian had pulled her close and kissed her on the lips.

_**Heh, heh. CLIFFHANGER! XD sorry, I have to work on something time consuming that is more life altering than the romance above. I'll update ASAP (possibly Monday ;)) Besides, I want to get your juices flowing for some more drama and romance. I know you're all swearing at me right now, sorry guys :(  
**_


	7. Forever Yours

**_Hey Guys! (Is pelted senselessly by rotten fruit) OKAY! I'M SORRY! Had a big giant, 15 of my English Grade Project to do...I was being too sucked into my story and knew it would never had been done if I didn't cut off! Thanks to my mosnterage of reviewers Mad-Hatter-LCarol, WitchyWanda and mywickidlyweirdnature, I LOVE YOU ALL! Moving on, lol, I suggest you go back a chapter and pick up on some things in the waterfall scene (wink wink) not like any of that is IMPORTANT IF YOU LIKE TO FIND FORSHADOWING! (whistles suspiciously) On to the story! (finally XD) Oh and I ripped one of my pal-o-roonie's Jamie in one part with the title of her BJ story XD see if you can find it..._**

Lydia didn't let go of Brian. In fact, she could have stayed in that embrace for the rest of the night. She knew that this wasn't Prince Charming, just her beetle munching amigo in human, teenage form...yeah, not much of a difference... All the girls were hovering around him and giggling every time he made eye contact; he had given up eating insects all together, 'It is hazardous to my heath' he had told her (Didn't that sound familiar?); he bathed for her and now he was running his hands through her hair and she was starting to wrap her arms around his neck...

Brian broke away from her for a second. "Lydia," he began quietly; Lydia didn't answer because she was too intoxicated from his kiss. "I never want to hurt you again...I've done everything to make you see that, that I could be more than a friend...Lyds," he took her hands and lead her to the very edge of the cliff, "If you jump, and if you trust me, nothing bad will happen. _Trust me_."

If he hadn't have kissed her. If he hadn't have said that cliché speech so perfectly. If he hadn't been _so handsome_, which Lydia would have never thought of thinking about him, she would have pushed him off and snapped: "HAVE YOU FLIPPED YOUR LID?" No, that didn't happen. Things were more complicated now.

"Why, do you want to do this?" she returned just as quietly, "What's so important..."

"It's not the waterfall. It's if you trust me. See this," he took out the bottle of Eau de Vitae from his pant pocket, "This is how I am staying young...If I drink this whole bottle, right here, right now, I will age just like you...we'll be together 'till death do we part. All I need is an answer Lydia...Do you trust me?"

Lydia looked down into the pool below to see her distant reflection. Her face was paler than usual and her vacant expression proved how shocking the situation really was. Beetlejuice was living for her, _to live_ with her. Something about her jumping off this waterfall with him had such an importance to him; an importance that was beginning to frighten her...this really wasn't just about trusting him...it was something else...

"BJ, Brian." she finally answered, "If I jump...If I go through with this..." she was starting to cry quietly, "Everything will change, you will never be Beetlejuice anymore, nothing will be the same between us...How do you know this isn't a mistake? How do you really know if you really," was she going to say it? "if you really love me..."

"I've been through this before, I know. I know. And so will you." he said mysteriously, and pulled her in a little closer to him. He inhaled the sweet smell of her hair and uttered "_You driven more than crazy, Lyds. For so long I haven't been able to express my feelings with you because of complications and..._"

It was Lydia's turn to surprise him; she kissed him delicately on the lips. "I'm yours now, BJ." she smiled, "_Forever yours._"

I wish I could say that they returned to the dance after diving off the cliff and into the cool pool below. I wish I could say that they won 'Cutest Couple' in the dance contest and Brian soon became Lydia's boyfriend, later fiancé and they lived happily ever after. That doesn't happen...I can only tell you that their _happily together forever_ moment was ruined by the hatching plot of one single ghoul and his henchmen, how where watching the two from the shadows of the woods. I wish I could say they were as pleased to see Brian with Lydia as you were...

**_Stay posted! It's about to get Razarifically Suspenseful! I admit this post was a little shabby but the next one will defiantly blow this one out of the water! ;)_**


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